July 17th 2016 7:25 pm

Well sitting out in the warm infrared of an evening sun when suddenly from over the fence comes a desperate fledgling! The look of terror in it’s eyes and behind it, a muthafukka sparrowhawk. Then the obligatory puff of feathers and it’s history. Cue said sparrowhawk flying into the sun with a limp sparrowette in its well manicured talons.
Three minutes late the sparrow family arrive on our feeders, ‘Have you seen junior lately?’ Mother says to Father.
‘No’, says Father, ‘I expect he’s packing his bags ready for our winter flight out to the South of France.’
‘How odd’, says Mother sparrow, ‘I thought we were purely residential to the UK?’
Father sparrow replies quietly, ‘Well after Brexit I think we may have to leave the UK!’
‘Anyway’, replies Mother, ‘Where is Junior? I’m a little concerned that he may have got a little lost.’
Father reassures Mother and they continue eating seeds from our bird feeder.
Meanwhile in a Sparrowhawk nest not far from you a poor nestling is being eaten rather slowly and sadistically by a couple of Sparrowhawk chicks. Junior thinks, ‘Bloody hell I didn’t expect that to happen. A beautiful evening not a care in the world and this f..king happens! I suppose the South of France is out of the question now!.
Yet another puff of feathers explodes from a predators nest as Junior expires.
Back at the feeder. ‘Are you sure Junior is OK Father? I do hate it when they’re out of my site.’
Father sparrow replies confidently, ‘Relax Mother, give him a few minutes and he’ll come fluttering by, what’s the worse thing that can happen to him?’