December 12th 2013 9:41 am

Now I can tell I’m turning into an old fart! Bought a new shiny steel Breville toaster yesterday and today made toast for the sproggs. Design problem; an inch of the bread sticks out of the top and when toasted looks rather odd. Tried using it sideways bread wouldn’t fit. Checked out online reviews and the consensus is, and I quote, ‘Bread doesn’t fit the toaster’.
Apparently the only bread that will fit this toaster is special square toasting bread. Oh I see! I
now have to purchase two loaves of bread, one for sandwiches and suchlike and another just for toasting!
What a crock of shite. I can imagine the Breville design team….well Carothers and team what a wonderful toaster you’ve designed and such and expensive production budget too . Lets try it out….Carothers the bread doesn’t fit?
Well Sir, we designed the product, made a prototype and sent it for manufacture. During the process we cut the crusts off the bread because our CEO likes his toast that way. He liked the toast and you and the rest of the management team liked the toast too and approved the completion of the product. Is there a problem?
Carothers the bread doesn’t fit the toaster!
Well too late Sir 30,000 toasters have already been made. The toaster does work but you do have to cut 1″ or 25.4mm off the end of the bread. Therefore the toaster works. Burger buns, crumpets and other things fit. I see that the problem is that there is no EU standard unification of bread size!
Carothers I’ve just done a brief internet search and it appears that 90% of bread will not fit our new toaster! Did you not try market research regarding the bread size bell curve?
The thing is Sir, our CEO and management’s restaurant only use the small sized bread. They pay my salary. They approve my budget. They approve the product for distribution. I only design and offer up the product for their approval. You need to talk to the CEO Sir.
Well done Carothers keep up the good work and look forward to seeing your new electric banana slicer, electric pasta measuring tool, and electric spaghetti twirling fork.
You lot can rot in hell I’m taking this shite toaster back to Argoooos!

Further investigation uncovers these facts!
In the US, sliced bread is basically all the same size – a loaf is about 12-15″ long, each slice is about a half an inch thick, and a slice is basically 4.5″ by 4.5″ that’s square to you.
In the UK a loaf can vary from 8-15 inches long but the slice is on average per 12-15″ loaf 4.5″ by 5.5″ to even 6″ depending on brand.
The discrepancy of UK vs US loafs can be 1″ to 1.5″ Therefore toaster manufacturers take note and stop flooding the UK market with bloody American substandard products!