November 26th 2016 8:21 pm

I was Having a drink at Starfucks coffee shop in Exeter when on leaving I decided to have a quick wee as the cold air would surely shrink my kidneys. I queued as there was only one toilet available and chatted nervously to a stunningly beautiful girl, so blonde and so unattainable. I felt like an old decrepit hermit as I chatted to her and could see in her eye that she had already clocked me as an ageing sex-pest! Finally it was her turn for the bog.
Miss World was in there for ages and finally she came out rather hastily, made NO eye contact and left like an escaping bank robber. I entered the toilet to be met with a bowl full of chocolate scatt and the smell of Beelzebubs backside! I gagged, peed and of course, Sod’s Law, the flush had broken. After washing my hands I dried them under a blower less powerful than a dying man’s last breath and exited.
I was immediately met by two startled women on crutches who retched, gagged and almost toppled over. I didn’t make eye contact but said apologetically, ‘All I had was a wee, honest!’
Damn Miss World and damn her rancid ass! 
As a footnote I did see these two ladies later chatting to a Police Support Officer who was avidly taking crap notes. For the rest of the day I had to dart between dark doorways to keep from being falsely arrested for running defecation violations!