I’m only saying:-
On the way home tonight I received a text message saying can you bring home some milk. I thought I’d pop into Iceland and pick up a couple of pints cowjuice. Well I picked up the milk and proceeded in a north easterly direction towards the front tills. Well you’ve guessed it, as usual there was only one person manning the tills.
In front of me were two full trolleys containing microwave burgers, microwave cheesy baked potatoes, fish protein shapes which resembled king prawns and an assortment of frozen, highly dangerous and graphically appealing packets of poisonous offal. The lad on the tills pushed the buzzer beckoning others to help out. No one came!
Then the owner of one of the trolleys in front of me couldn’t find her debit card, then when she did she couldn’t remember her pin. A woman came up with a packet of chocolate biscuits and was allowed to jump the queue. Excuse me I’ve been here and sodding grown a beard already!!
Damn it: I couldn’t stand it any more so decided to go to the back door tills whilst the sound of the beckoning buzzer filled the air. I arrived at the back tills and you’ve guessed it they were unmanned. What I did see were four Icelanders slowly filling shelves and chatting in a relaxed manner. Now and again they raised their voices to talk over the buzzer pleading with them to help their colleague out.
Finally I placed the milk carton by an empty, soulless, lonely till and proceeded out through the back door and into a corner shop three minutes away. Instead of paying £1 for two pints I paid £1.18 for one pint. If you ask me that was money bloody well spent and I’m sure the dairy farmers would agree with me too!
As a footnote as I was leaving I did see Kerry Katona sweeping the floor. The only reason she was here was because she didn’t want to pay British taxes. June 8th 2016 7:19 pm