January 6th 2017 10:40 pm

Now another thing …. Filo or Puff Pastry! What is the point of eating something that will explode and cover you and a thousand meters of sadness resembling greasy, psoriatic skin like crumbs? Oh let’s have a puff pastry pasty and eat it in the car. Well you can spend the rest of the day hoovering your car of millions of shitty, greasy crumbs. If you eat a puff pastry something in your car don’t take it to the Polish valeting guys because they’ll either charge you £499 to clean it or tell you to claim a right off from your insurers. Oh a sausage roll in puff pastry! You take one bite and the sodding thing explodes! You’re left with an anaemic looking sausage like a dying man’s penis in your mouth, again your clothes are dusted in greasy, flaky crumbs, just like some sort of culinary dandruff. So no! Why cook with bloody puff pastry? Why would you do such a ridiculously idiotic thing?