March 17th 2017 10:51 pm

Now here’s a thing,
Chatting about a certain anniversary outing abroad with friends and decided to peruse the net for hotels and flights, well you know how it goes. Later I decide to take a brief look at Farcelook and boom … an advert for a certain Lisbon hotel that, apparently three of my top contacts have liked has popped up on my homepage feed. No they’ve not faved it; you’re lying and attempting to use their names as influence to make me choose that certain hotel. Well kiss my arse! Just like a Candy Crush pop up that says, ‘Hey the most influential people in your life play this game, why not join them you loser?’ Candy Crush kiss my arse and kiss the arse of all my friends. That is except for the idiots who believe that their friends have actually invited them to play this banal rubbish. Yes, let those people play Candy Crush until their colons prolapse out of their assholes like alimentary slinkies!
Raining again today and managed to escape another Abbey Road four wheeled drive puddle splashing disaster. As I walked to pick up some milk in the rain with my twins and I managed to step aside as three hoodies got totally drenched by that bloody blonde again in her white Range Rover Sport on her mobile phone. Top girl that’s what I say! By the way you’re booked into a four-star hotel in Lisbon called Kandie Crush! 
Now uninvited Book Flights have rather crudely barged onto my news feed with cheap Lisbon flight offers, I’ve decided to go to … there Farcelook advertisers guess where my next choice will be?